Their Last Year
by LadyJade
Summary: Lily Evans used to be spunky, happy and completely sure of herself. After an enormous loss nothing seems to be like it was before, least of all Lily. The only feelings that haven’t changed seem to be the anger and resentment directed toward James Potter.
1. Summer Before Seventh

Summary: Lily Evans used to be spunky, happy and completely sure of herself. After an enormous loss nothing seems to be like it was before, least of all Lily. The only feelings that haven't changed seem to be the ones directed toward James Potter. Unfortunately the feelings are ones of anger and annoyance.

Disclaimer: All the Characters belong to J.K. Rowling. The not amazingly original plot and characters you don't recognize belong to me.

A/N: I would appreciate it if you would review! It's always nice to have feedback, and if you have any constructive criticism, go for it!

* * *

Chapter One: Summer Before Seventh 

"Hello Tia," said Lily Evans as she arrived at the house of her best friend Tia Andrews. Lily was a short redheaded girl with sad emerald eyes that spoke of a deep grief. She had been looking forward to visiting Tia who belonged to one of the more prominent families in Wizarding Society and whose house was really a mansion. Now she was anything but excited because the reason she was here was not a happy one.

"Oh, Lily," said Tia taking her bags and putting them on the floor. She enveloped Lily into a hug, trying to take some of the pain away. Lily Evans had not had a perfect life, but it had been a good one up until this summer. Death Eaters had murdered her parents and her sister Petunia who had never liked her, now hated her more, blaming Lily for their deaths. The worst part was that for once in Petunia's life she was right. If Lily wasn't a witch, if Lily hadn't done so well in school, her parents wouldn't be dead now. She felt as if she was living life in a fog and every morning she woke up wishing she had had a nightmare, instead of the nightmare being real.

Tia released her and picked the bag up again. "Come on Lily, I'll show you to your room upstairs."

"Thank you," Lily answered automatically.

Tia knew what her friend had been through, and she figured maybe Lily needed space. As far as she had knew Lily had hardly cried; she seemed to be beyond it now, just trying to hold herself together. She hoped she would be able to take Lily's mind away from the pain. It was heartbreaking, but still needed to live life. She led her upstairs to her room.

Lily walked into the room, probably the nicest room she had ever seen in her entire life. She wished she could enjoy it. "Do you think I could have some time alone to unpack?" she asked Tia.

"Yeah, sure Lil. If you need anything, I'll be downstairs okay?" said Tia walking over to give Lily one last hug.

Finally alone, Lily moved her bag to the floor, sat on the bed, and began to cry out what was left of her heart.

* * *

As the month progressed, Tia tried her best to coax Lily out of the depression she was in. Lily could tell she and Mrs. Andrews were trying their hardest by telling funny jokes and trying to include her in baking sessions and shopping outings, but they only managed to get a few smiles or weak laughs out of her. There seemed to be nothing that could lift her out of the limbo she was in. Despite it, through their little projects they seemed to be easing Lily into a familiarity of the house and living with them. She was becoming comfortable with her surroundings if not completely happy with herself.

For a while she hadn't been sure if she'd ever feel what it was like to be happy again, but one day Tia was running around the house trying to catch a butterfly that had flown in when the front door was open. Her and one of the cats were chasing it, Tia trying to restore it safely back outside, and the cat obviously looking for a tasty snack. Tia was perched in a precarious situation: one leg outstretched, one hand reaching up toward the butterfly and one leg on the couch. She looked like some sort of demented ice skater. The cat, who was in an attack position pounced but instead of getting the butterfly only managed to make Tia topple all the way onto the floor. Lily and Tia both started to laugh hysterically and when Mrs. Andrews came in, she must've caught the disease because despite not knowing what was going on she had started to laugh as well. It was the first bursting of happiness that Lily had felt since that awful day.

The laughter had finally broken the bubble Lily had been living in. She wasn't completely happy and she still cried in the middle of the night when she was alone, but she was back in the land of the living.

* * *

Every August, Tia's parents held a party to raise money for St. Mungo's for wizarding society. For weeks Tia and Mrs. Andrews had kept Lily occupied by having her help plan the party. They had tried out tons of recipes, shopped for hours on end for the perfect dresses, and spent literally weeks deliberating on party favors and decorations. It had been fun but she was now alone in her room getting ready for the party while the Andrews and Tia fixed up the last bit of problems. 

Mrs. Andrews had been excited because she claimed she could say that she had Hogwart's new Head Girl at her party. This was of course because Lily was Hogwart's new Head Girl. Lily hadn't been as excited about it as she should've been. She was proud…but there was that feeling, the one that knew she should have been home showing off the badge to her family.

She felt tears leak down her eyes as she stared into the mirror. She was wearing emerald green robes she and Tia had picked out. She wiped her eyes; the crying had lessened over the months but she still didn't feel whole, complete as she had before. She knew it was normal; her whole life had been turned upside down. She took her mascara to apply to her eyes, added some lipstick, and tried to put on her biggest smile. She sighed. It would have to do for now.

* * *

The Andrew's parties had always been the best, or at least that was what his mother said. So now James Potter was being dragged to a party he wasn't even sure he wanted to go to. The fact that Sirius was attending with him didn't even help. The only saving grace was that Tia Andrews was Lily Evan's best friend and maybe Lily would be there. 

James had loved Lily since fourth year when he and Sirius had started to see who could date more of the girl population of Hogwarts. Lily had been the only one to refuse both of them. It wasn't even the standard "I'm really sorry, but I'd rather be friends" refusal. It was a plain cold, but seemingly polite "No, thank you." He and Sirius had both been stunned, but while Sirius had moved on, James had started to take more notice of her. He had found himself staring at her in class, amazed at how she was the only one in the school that could match his grades, and surprised by her willingness to stand up to him.

He asked her out as often as possible, hoping to catch her off guard. He couldn't help but show off when she was around. If he showed off there was a much better chance of her noticing him. By sixth year he had known, he was completely in love with Lily Evans. Sirius didn't understand as he had a new girl each week but at least Remus (the lucky one who could actually hold a civil conversation with her!) understood.

So when he had read the papers in July and found out that the Death Eaters had killed two more muggles, the parents of a muggle-born witch named Lily Evans, he had been depressed. It wasn't fair. Lily was such a good person and those monsters had torn her life apart. They had torn _his_ Lily's life apart before he had even had the chance to be there for her.

And now. Now he didn't know what to do. He wanted to gather her up in his arms and hold her close, give her comfort, but she wouldn't want him to. He couldn't ask her out as carelessly as he had before; it just seemed so stupid now. He was ashamed that it had taken this to get him to stop bothering her, he should've found some other way to convince her his feelings were true. Now he wasn't sure he would have the chance.

When he walked into the Andrew's ballroom, she was the first thing he saw. Her lovely red hair twisted into an elegant knot, a green dress that matched her glowing eyes, and a smile that didn't seem to reach her eyes. He walked over to her before he had any idea what he was doing.

* * *

She frowned. The Potters had walked in. There had been no mistaking the handsome man that was obviously an older version of James. Of course James and Sirius were in tow. Sirius automatically seemed to zone in on a pretty girl she thought was from Ravenclaw. James headed straight for her. He always seemed intent on making her life miserable. From making fun of her for not knowing how to fly in their third year to constantly asking her out to embarrass her, and later actually thinking she would act like all the rest of the girls who liked him, he had always known how to get rid of her calm composure. 

"Hey, Lily, did you hear I was made Head Boy?" he asked rather rhetorically.

Even that didn't matter anymore. She was mildly irritated that she would have to suffer working with him, but it didn't make her as angry as it once would have.

"Congratulations," she said without emotion.

"Congrats to you too. I heard you were Head Girl. We'll do a good job this year," he said.

Yes, _she_ would do a good job. He would probably do nothing and leave all the work on her. Him implying that he was actually going to do a good job started to get her a little mad.

"Sure, you'll do a great job staying out of detentions because at least you'll only get them from teachers now," she said turning away.

"I do exceptionally well in classes and I will make a good Head Boy. Dumbledore did choose me. Have some faith Lil," he said trying to assure her that he was responsible too.

"Don't call me Lil," she snapped. Well, something in her life had stayed the same. Potter would always annoy her, be able to spark up her temper, and make her feel like throwing something.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled and walked away.

Potter mumbling? Not arguing back or trying to be charming with her? Couldn't _anything_ stay the same in her life. She wouldn't cry, not here, not in front of everyone. She just had to find Tia.

She started to search for Tia and was walking fast to the other side of the room when she suddenly collided with someone. A very gorgeous someone. He was tall with jet-black hair and light blue eyes that seemed familiar.

"Whoa, steady yourself there," he said holding her shoulders. "In a hurry aren't you?"

"Sorry," she said looking down.

He put his hand on her chin and turned her face up towards him. "You're Tia's friend from school aren't you? Evans right?"

"Yes, Lily," she answered trying to keep her wits. You didn't see gorgeous men like this everyday.

He smiled at her. "Rave, Matthew Rave," he said holding out a hand. She shook it as recognition filtered through her mind. Now she remembered where she had seen him before. He and his sister had been on Witch Weekly in an article titled, "The 'It' Orphans." Tia had shown it to her because his sister was her oldest friend.

Mr. and Mrs. Andrews along with Tia had hurried over with a woman with the same black hair and blue eyes as Matthew striding gracefully along with them. Unlike, Matthew the woman did not have a warm smile, her mouth was not frowning but neutral, her eyes assessing.

Mrs. Andrews went to give Matthew a hug. "I'm so glad you both could make it. We haven't seen you all summer! Say you will stay and have dinner tomorrow night with us?"

Matthew turned to his sister. "What do you say Callie?" he asked grinning.

"Of course we'll stay, Elaine," she said taking Mrs. Andrew's hand.

She let go and turned to Lily. "You must be Miss Evans. Tia speaks very highly of you. I'm sorry for your loss," she said.

"Thank you," Lily murmured. She had a feeling she was being sized up and she hated it when people said things to her. It wasn't as if she forgot about it or didn't know she just didn't want to talk about it with people she wasn't close with.

Mr. and Mrs. Andrews excused themselves and Callie followed them to go speak with another couple that had arrived.

Matthew seemed to pick this up. "Tia, I heard from your mother you have a boyfriend," he said.

"You have a boyfriend," Lily blurted out taken in by shock.

"Oh yeah. I didn't mention it because, well it just kind of seemed trivial," said Tia apologetically.

"Who is he? He has to pass inspection first," Matt said to her.

Tia, who had always been notorious for being calm and comfortable in all situations, turned red. "Do you inspect who Callie dates? You're not my older brother," she retorted.

"Come on Lily," she said grabbing her arm.

"Wait, I was going to ask Lily to dance with me," he said.

There was no way. He was asking Lily to dance? He obviously didn't know her. She was short, she _liked_ to read, and while she was secure in herself most guys weren't begging to go out with her. Well, except for James, but he wasn't a decent sort.

"I'd like to dance," she said before Tia could say anything

Tia quickly threw Matt an irritated look but when she turned to Lily she smiled.

"I'm going to look for my date," she said and walked away.

He took Lily's arm and brought her to the dance floor.

* * *

James scowled as he watched Lily danced with Matthew Rave. Normally he got along well with the guy, but right now he wasn't in such a generous mood. He hadn't wanted to make Lily mad before because he bet she was feeling horrible enough without him adding to it, but now he wished he would've asked her to dance. She was obviously okay enough to dance with Matt, so why should he be any different? 

He went over there and tapped Lily's arm. Her eyes narrowed and she was about to say something but he cut her off. "Would you mind if I cut in?" he asked Matt.

Matt smiled at James knowingly and released Lily to him. He knew he had always liked that guy!

As soon as he left Lily turned to him and hissed, "What makes you think I want to dance with you?"

"Aw, come on Evans. Look, just one dance and I won't bother you for the rest of the night," he said hoping against hope she would agree.

"The whole night?" she asked.

"Yes," he answered and then decided to add, "well unless you change your mind and want me around."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Fine, one dance."

Yes! James snagged an arm around her waist and moved the other on her back. She was small, barely coming up to his shoulder, but she fit perfectly against him.

"So, uh, do you know Matthew," she asked.

"Matt? Yeah, I know him pretty well. He and Callie are extremely wealthy and they were orphaned when they were younger. Callie's kind of weird. She was only ten, but she was the one that insisted that they didn't need guardians and I guess cause of their money she managed a deal. She and Matt would spend one day with a Wizarding family a month until they were sixteen to make sure they were okay. She spent most of it was Tia's family but occasionally she would stay at Sirius's. Sirius hates her, but he likes Matt okay."

Lily seemed really interested in this and James who was reveling in fact that she actually didn't seem to mind spending time with him and wanted to talk more let her ask as many questions as possible.

"So how do you know them?" she pried on.

"Oh, well you know Mrs. Andrews and my mother are best friends right? We used to all play together when we were younger."

"Sirius too?"

"Nah, his parents and my parents don't get along. They're…well don't ever mention this to Sirius, he hates talking of them. His family's a bunch of dark wizards and he's been staying with me since last year."

"So wait, Matthew's sister is a dark wizard?"

"Callie? I don't think so. You'd have to ask Tia, she doesn't talk to me much. Matt's like the nicest guy you'll ever meet though."

He didn't care that he was talking about the guy that she had been dancing with before. He had had a civil conversation with Lily Evans! If he kept making this type of progress maybe he could convince her he wasn't that bad of a person and she would give him a chance.

They had ended up dancing more than one dance together, but now something faster came on, and Lily started to extricate herself from his arms.

"You want to get something to drink?" he asked quickly not ready to relinquish her company.

"Yeah, why not?" she said.

Sirius was over by the refreshments with Alanna, a Slytherin from school. She was the only Slytherin he would date and it was obvious why. She had long straight black hair, dark eyes and an extremely curvy body. They both dated other people but it was obvious to everyone else what they used each other for.

"Hey James," he said and almost did a double take. "Lily, how nice to see you," he said reaching over to take her hand. She pulled it away.

"Don't even think about it, Black," she snapped.

Alanna seemed unfazed by this and walked over to Lily. She spoke as if Lily wasn't there. "Oh, so this is the one he's obsessed with? I see it Black, she's so innocent," she said and ran a finger down Lily's cheek. Lily smacked her hand away.

"What's wrong with you?" Lily said her eyes narrowed at Alanna.

Alanna just smiled and moved back towards Sirius. "Nothing. Come on Sirius, let's leave these two alone," she said and led him off somewhere else.

"Don't worry about Alanna, she's harmless," said James.

"I'm going to look for Tia," said Lily who was obviously unnerved by the other girl.

"I'll come with you. I didn't see her yet," James said following her.

* * *

James was being actually acting like a normal person tonight. She knew he had promised to stay away from her if she danced with him and any other time she would have reminded him of his offer, but she hardly knew anyone here and didn't want to wander around aimlessly alone. At least he was a familiar face. 

They searched high and low for Tia but they couldn't find her. They ended up finding Matt who was also searching for Tia. Finally they found her with a man who had to be a few years older than she was. He had white blonde hair and gray eyes and there was something about the way he looked at her that Lily didn't like.

"Hey, Lily, this is my boyfriend Lucius Malfoy," she said introducing them. "My best friend at Hogwarts, Lily Evans and you know James."

James apparently didn't like him either because he was glaring at Lucius. Matt was almost gaping at the direction of Tia and Lucius.

"Evans," he said. "I heard about what happened. My deepest condolences," he said. She moved back between James and Matt.

Matt was the first to respond. "Tia, I can't believe you're dating him," he said shaking his head in disgust and walking away.

Lily thought that was a bit of an overreaction. "Thank you," she said and smiled at Tia. She didn't want her to feel anymore uncomfortable then she was.

"Oh, I better go off and talk to him. Lucius, I'll see you later," she said kissing him on the cheek. "Would you come with me?" she asked Lily.

Lily agreed and followed her leaving Lucius and James to their staring contest. They found Matt in an empty room staring into the fire. Tia walked up to him and pushed him on his shoulder.

"What was that all about?" she asked.

Matt started yelling at Tia for going near what he termed "so obviously a dangerous Death Eater" and Tia was yelling that he had no right to interfere with whom she wanted to date.

"You know what Tia? Date him. It doesn't matter. After tonight I can't look at you the same anyway," Matt said shaking his head as he stalked away.

Lily went to Tia and hugged her.

"It's okay," Tia said, "I'm fine. He'll get over it."

"That was wrong of him," said Lily solemnly. "To call him a Death Eater. They're horrible people."

"I know, I don't know what's gotten into him lately," said Tia.

"An evening with Potter for me and this for you. This has to be the worst night ever," Lily remarked.

"Yeah, let's go find Lucius. We can probably avoid them for the rest of the night if we stay around him," Tia said and brought Lily back with her.

A/N: Malfoy obviously wouldn't parade it around that he hates Muggle-borns. Tia doesn't know and neither does Lily. (Thank you to Aladailey, because at first I wrote purebloods. Mental lapse there.)


	2. Wary of Potter

Disclaimer: All the Characters belong to J.K. Rowling. The not amazingly original plot and characters you don't recognize belong to me.

A/N: I would appreciate it if you would review! It's always nice to have feedback, and if you have any constructive criticism, go for it! Thank you Aladailey and Senator Padme for your reviews.

* * *

Chapter Two: Wary of Potter

"Yes, I remember that you are Head Boy, Potter. I'll see you in the front of the train and please try to act like a human being for once," Lily said to James as he tried to help her put her trunk on the train.

"Don't James. I can do it fine, myself," she said magicking it onto the train with a flick of her wrist. "I'm not helpless."

"I didn't say you were. I was just trying to help."

"Go be helpful to some of the younger students then." She stepped onto the train and dropped some of her stuff in the seat next to Tia. To her annoyance Potter came in followed by his gang of friends. She frowned.

"There's no room for all of you."

"Six seats, Evans. Six of us."

"Well, we're expecting someone else…right Tia," she said staring pointedly at her.

Tia shrugged smiling at Lily. It figured her best friend would throw her into this type of position.

Luckily, someone walked into the compartment and sat down across from Tia. It was the woman from Tia's party.

"It's all full Black. You and Potter can find another compartment that is not located anywhere near this one," came a tone that had complete authority in it.

Black's eyes filled with hatred. "Don't worry. I wouldn't spend a minute with you if it was the only thing that was going to save my life," he said leaving with Potter reluctantly following him out.

Lily stared at her in amazement. "Thanks. I have to go to the Head Compartment now but at least some of the ride will be peaceful."

* * *

All right, so he might have failed at getting to sit in the compartment with Lily but it wasn't like he wasn't going to see her when they addressed they addressed the Prefects. The beginning of the year had given James a fresh surge of hope for the year. Lily had managed to stay in his company for two hours during that party at Tia's house where there had been no yelling, no dirty looks, and her actually seeming to be having a decent time in his presence.

That was an improvement no matter which angle you looked at. James was determined to be responsible this year. After that trick that Sirius had played on Severus last year he had grown up a little and doing well in his position of Head Boy had the added gift of impressing Lily. He had drawn up lists with ideas and pelted Remus with his owl for every scrap of information of what was expected of Prefects. He hadn't been one in his fifth year but he was prepared to know exactly what to tell the Prefects about their new duties.

Lily was already there when he entered the compartment and many of the new Prefects were still filing in. He grabbed some of his notes from his bag and placed them on a table that had been provided for Lily and him.

Lily began by introducing both of them and began to talk about what was expected of new prefects for the year. "You _are_ allowed to take points but you will be monitored on this so do NOT abuse your position," she finished turning at James to give him a dirty look.

He didn't think that was fair. He had never been a position of power before, so how would she know if he would abuse it. He took it though, because it was Lily and he was hardly going to impress her by arguing with her in front of the prefects.

"These aren't your only responsibilities," he added. "You are required to help with all of the events that the Head Girl and I decide to throw. If it's a ball," he paused to let the gasps of excitement fade, "Or, if we are organizing something for charity you are all required giving your time and energy. Speaking of balls, we were thinking of a costume ball for Halloween."

Everyone's eyes lit up. If James Potter was throwing a ball, it was sure to have the mark of the Marauders and being able to help in it would be a great boon to tell their friends. Lily's face had started to get a little red. He could tell she was holding her temper but she was obviously mad that he was making her sound like the boring one, her explaining rules and he explaining the interesting stuff.

"I'm glad you all like the idea. You can give a round of applause for Lily here. It was all her idea," he lied and everyone started to clap for her. Her face had turned a different shade of red, this time from embarrassment he was sure.

As the prefects all filed out Lily packed up her stuff and turned to him.

"You didn't have to lie to them, you know. I actually was thinking of a ball but you

said it first," she said bitterly.

"Look, Lily. I'm sorry. You just went on about all the rules and didn't let me get a word in edgewise. I wanted to make sure everyone knew I was going to put effort into this," he said hoping this would help.

"Like you knew what the rules for them were. You weren't a prefect."

'Yeah, but I asked Remus what was required of them. I have notes." He waved them in front of her.

She seemed to be fighting annoyance. "Okay, I concede. I'm going to back to the compartment." She walked down to the end of the train.

"See you at dinner," he called after her. Well, she hadn't been able to yell at him and he had proved, even it was to her annoyance, that he _was_ responsible.

* * *

When Lily and James arrived at dinner they were both surprised to find out that there was actually a separate dormitory for the Head Boy and Girl. James was obviously rejoicing the extra time he would get to spend with Lily, while she was just as obviously dreading it.

Lily had quickly grabbed two seats empty seats on the Gryffindor table that were surrounded by people. There was no way James would be able to find room for himself and his friends near them. They were seated at the end of the table where a not surprising number of girls had congregated to sit near them. Sirius and James always seemed to attract attention even when they weren't doing anything. It was just another thing that seemed to irritate Lily.

"Tia, I would rather just sleep with the rest of you than spend anymore time with him. I won't get anything done there," Lily said looking up from her roast chicken and boiled potatoes.

Tia swung around quickly her curly hair flying with an incredulous look in her blue eyes telling Lily that she clearly thought her crazy. She held up her hand and started to tick off points.

"You have your own common room where you will not be disturbed by first years, you have your own bedroom that won't be littered with makeup from the other girls, and you have a place for me to completely relax without interference. James is only a minor detail, the pros outweigh the cons," she said her hands mimicking a balance.

It was true. James was Quidditch captain so he wouldn't be around for a few hours of the day for practices. During that time she would have the common room to herself and unlike in the library she would be able to eat while she worked and spread her work out on the table taking up as much as she wanted. It would be nice not having Madam Pince breathing down her neck all the time.

She could invite Tia up with her so she wouldn't be lonely. Merlin, that was another thing she was scared of. She didn't want to be alone anymore; she actually wanted to sit in the Gryffindor common room surrounded by all the traffic of students playing games, doing homework, and causing trouble. The common room had always been comforting because of the presence of people that surrounded her.

Tia seemed to be able to read her mind. "I'll be up there all the time for you. Don't worry. Believe me, if you're not in the Gryffindor dormitory I won't want to be and I can't have you studying without causing a little bit of trouble for you."

Lily smiled. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Tia seemed to be able to cause trouble wherever she went and most times it wasn't even on purpose. She was beautiful, confident and so friendly sometimes Lily didn't think she could possibly understand it. She had already made Lily promise to let her help with all events that the Prefects did this year because she was an excellent planner, knowing exactly what everyone would enjoy.

"Okay. You definitely have to spend all your free time with me though," Lily answered.

"How else am I going to study and get my notes?" she laughed.

The Head Dormitory turned out to be beautiful and well worth moving out of the Gryffindor Dormitory that had been home for six years. Her bedroom had a nice view of the Quidditch pitch, a big bed stuffed with down, there was a wardrobe and a desk provided just for her.

She and James shared a common room and a bathroom, both of which were equally as nice as her bedroom. Being Head Girl did have its perks. The workload this year was up from the year before because of NEWTs and Lily spent most of her time working which gave her little time to dwell on daydreams or memories.

James did spend a lot of time on the Quidditch pitch and that left her and Tia to enjoy the common room to themselves. When he didn't have Quidditch he seemed to actually spend time doing work, something that Lily thought was a miracle.

It took Lily a couple of weeks to notice that James was not in fact really working hard for that whole time. He seemed to spend most of his time staring at her.

"James, if you don't have work to do, why don't you go find your friends," said Lily exasperatedly. This had been going on for almost two weeks now and while she had tried to ignore it, it was unnerving.

"I am doing work, Lily," he said holding up his notes.

"You probably spend a total of fifteen minutes doing work, James. You spend most of the time staring at…," she left off.

It seemed really full of herself to say he was staring at her; she hated when girls imagined attention. Then again this was James Potter, he was always paying attention to her.

"You," he finished smiling.

Why wasn't he embarrassed he had been caught? He really had no shame at all.

"You noticed, so you must've been looking at me. Interested?" he asked mischievously.

"James," she said trying to sound disinterested instead of annoyed, "it would be pretty hard _not_ to notice that you were staring at me. How do you get your grades? You never do work."

"Comes naturally, I guess," he shrugged.

He was so arrogant. Naturally, of course, because he was just that amazing. She had to work for her grades and he received his by doing almost nothing.

"No wonder your head is so big. It just absorbs information and keeps getting bigger," she said angrily shutting her notebook.

"Come on, Lily. I wasn't trying to get you mad. Look, if you ever want anyone to talk to, I'll be here. I…uhh…heard about your parents and all. I'm really sorry."

He had to go and bring that up. She had been blocking it out, working herself hard enough to forget it. She couldn't believe he was using that to get her to go out with him. He was even more of a jerk than she thought. He didn't really want her to talk to him he just wanted her to trust him so she would go out with him.

"That was low, Potter," she said stuffing the rest of her books in her bag and left the common room.

"That's not the way I meant it, Lily!" she could hear him yelling at her. She couldn't believe him. He was worse than Sirius Black. Sirius would break a girl's heart but at least he didn't bother the ones that were smart enough to stay away.

She went to the library. She would just bury herself in her work. She would dwell on how much of an idiot Potter was. She wouldn't let the memories come flooding back in, she couldn't. She wasn't going to break down in the middle of the hallway.

He was a toerag. He had a big head and she would never acknowledge him again for the rest of his life. She would ignore him…BANG.

Oh, God. She had just run into someone. She was sitting on the floor but the person still seemed to be standing.

"Do you need glasses?" a cultured voice asked her.

She looked up and there was Callie Rave standing up over her. Just what she needed to insult Tia's friend.

"Sorry, I wasn't paying attention," she said and found herself being hauled up.

"Thank you," she said wondering why the woman was so rude.

"Studying." It was a statement not a question. "The common rooms are ridiculous. You can't find any quiet there. The library is much better plus the books are easier to access," Callie said.

"Yes, and the library is miraculously Potter-free," she answered steadying herself and finding a table.

This time the woman did laugh and joined her. She was a year younger than herself but Callie exuded an elegance that became a woman. Her eyes held knowledge beyond their years.

"Thank the heavens you weren't saddled with Black. Potter likes you, he tries to stay on your good side."

Finally, someone who shared her opinion on the two troublemakers.

"Why do you hate Black so much?"

"Probably for the same reason you hate Potter. They are both obnoxious smartasses and because they are smarter than most get away with it."

Lily didn't want to say anything but she rather thought that Callie was like them. She didn't say anything, just began her work. Lily poured herself into her work and managed to actually get ahead, which was good because she had so many other duties now. She noticed, that Callie, on the other hand seemed to be taking out books that definitely did not fit a sixth year curriculum.

"What are you working on?" Lily asked peering over at the book.

"Research." She pulled out a necklace with a blue sapphire from her robes. "This has been in my family for years and I'm sure it has a protective charm on it. The problem is I don't know how to activate it. I'm trying to find out if there's any record of this particular necklace and different ways of activating the charms. The usual methods do not work."

This was advanced stuff, research work that was usually done by professionals. How was Tia friends with her? They were nothing alike.

"Research. The library here is exceptional," she said simply.

Lily checked her watch. It was late. "We should get going. Would you like me to walk you to your common room so that you don't get caught?" she offered.

"I don't need an escort. Thank you for the offer anyways," she said putting away her books and leaving.

* * *

It was pretty late and Lily wasn't back yet. He had been waiting in their common room for the past five hours and she still wasn't back. He hadn't meant to mention her parents; it was just that she was so mad at him. He wanted to show her that he would be here for her, that the reason he stared at her was because he cared. He was used to getting what he wanted and he had never wanted anything in his life as much as he wanted her.

Where was she? She had been gone for way too long. Hogwarts was probably the safest place in the world to be right now, but it still wasn't without its dangers. What if she had been coming back and had been hexed by some Slytherins? He was willing to bet his life some of them were Death Eaters already.

He would have to go find her that was all. He put his wand in the inside of his rooms and swung open the portrait hole. There was Lily, with her knapsack full of books coming in just now. She was fine and he had been sitting up waiting for her like a mother hen.

He grabbed her arm and pulled her inside. "Where were you?"

"None of your business," she said angrily pulling her arm away.

"It _is_ my business. I'm the Head Boy and you were out after hours."

"Don't try to act all responsible now, James. What are you so upset about anyway?"

"I was waiting for you. You just storm off and who knows where you went or what could have happened to you!"

"I had a knapsack full of books. I wonder where I went," she said sarcastically.

"Do you read the papers? Have you see what has been going on the past three years? It's not safe when the corridors are empty."

"If anyone knows it's not safe, it's me. By the way, I don't need you or anyone to look out for me. There's nothing you would be able to do that I couldn't do alone," she said coldly going to her room and slamming the door.

He was worried about her. If she weren't so mad at him she would actually think it was kind of sweet. It would've been nice to know he actually cared about her safety if he wasn't so bigheaded that he believed that he would be able to protect her from everything. He was safe of course. Never mind that full-grown powerful wizards weren't able to protect themselves from what was going on these days.

What was with him anyway? Who waited up like a parent for someone to come back to a dorm? He would never deflate his head. He made her angry like no other person on earth. How could any of the girls that dated him possibly deal with it? How did they make it past the week that it took for him to dump them and not get rid of him first? They really must all be blind or something.

At least one thing was a constant in this universe; James was a prat and she would never like him. Lily laid her head back down on the pillow and smiled as she fell asleep.

* * *

James was in his room staring at the ceiling and thinking of a way to make this up to her. He would just have to learn to hide how much he wanted her. If he managed to hide how he felt he could become friends with her. That was his goal now to become friends with Lily. He could move on from there later.

He would tell her they had to start the Halloween ball and this would give him time to spend with her because they both had to plan it. He would show her how responsible and organized he could be. Those were two qualities she valued more than anything.

He would make sure he would charm her with jokes so she went to bed at night thinking of him, like he did of her. He couldn't randomly ask her out anymore or ask her anything personal. She would retaliate against that, but a slowly growing platonic relationship? She wouldn't be able to fight that. That was his next course of action.


	3. The First Kiss

Disclaimer: All the Characters belong to J.K. Rowling. The not amazingly original plot and characters you don't recognize belong to me. 

A/N: I would appreciate it if you would review! It's always nice to have feedback, and if you have any constructive criticism, go for it! Thank you SenatorPadmeand cylobabyfor your reviews.

* * *

Chapter Three: The First Kiss

It was time to put his plan into action. James had woken up this morning to find that Lily was already eating breakfast down in the Great Hall. He dressed and hurried down there snagging the empty seat across the table from Lily.

"Lily, I'm sorry about last night. You're right that was really bad of me." He paused, waiting for her to accept the apology. She didn't.

She looked up from her pancakes and copy of the Daily Prophet. "Was there something else you wanted, Potter?"

The apology didn't work; he would just have to keep moving on with his plan.

"Well, you know Halloween isn't that far way. We only have two months to plan the…" he looked around the table seeing that a few people were eavesdropping on the conversation. Couldn't they have any privacy?

"The secret thing…you know," he said hoping she would catch his meeting.

She looked at him blankly.

"Is this another one of your stupid games? If it is, leave now before you make a bigger fool out of yourself."

He took a deep breath forcing himself to be patient. "The thing… the one we talked about at the Prefect meeting. October," he said hoping she would get the clues.

She finally did. "Oh. Well, yes we do."

"We can work in the common room, tonight. I didn't schedule Quidditch practice today. Do you have your charms club?"

"No, I'm free tonight. Meet me up there at seven," she said and went back to her paper and pancakes.

Well he didn't seem to mess that up too badly. She was going to work with him tonight. Just him and her, and maybe he could lean over her and… Well, no he couldn't kiss her or touch her. Not yet, they had to be friends first. She had to like him and respect him before she would even consider that.

* * *

She was the first one to arrive at Advanced Transfiguration that morning so she slammed her books down loudly. James was so bloody annoying. He had to talk in stupid riddles to make it seem like he was that much better than the rest of the school. Why did the girls even bother eavesdropping? She just did not get it. Sure, he wasn't the worst looking boy at school, he could even be considered just a little bit good-looking. But, gorgeous? He wore glasses. How many boys could get away with being one of the most eligible bachelors at school wearing glasses? Sure they made him look intelligent and mature but if you observed him for two minutes you could see beyond that.

Then there was Tia. The girl had been sleeping through breakfast lately because she hadn't been there to wake her up. She had been wrapping up extra pieces of toast so Tia wouldn't be starving by lunchtime. She wished she would get here soon.

The room thing was turning out to be a lot lonelier than either Tia or she had predicted. Last night she realized she shouldn't have said anything about James staring at her. Sure it had been annoying, but what if he stopped sitting with her while she was doing her work? Then she would be left alone in that place, just like she had been at her house when her parents had been murdered.

Her thoughts kept drifting back there lately. She wished she would be able to get over these little states of depression soon. She put her hands down and laid her head on top of them staring at the empty chalkboard. McGonagall should be here soon. Hopefully. All she could hear was the sounds of the clock.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

"I'm so sorry Lily! I overslept again. I need to get one of those things you said the muggle world has. What did you call them danger clocks?"

Lily's head jumped up and she laughed. Thank Merlin Tia had finally come. She had been about to go out of her mind.

"Alarm clocks, Tia. We'll have to check out Hogsmeade and see if they have something like one over there. Or we could convince one of the house elves to drop water over you every morning."

"I think I'll pass on the water suggestion," Tia said reaching inside Lily's bag for toast. "I hate missing breakfast."

Lily rolled her eyes, and the class started to fill up. Professor McGonagall finally was teaching them how to conjure things. She looked up at the board and began to copy the notes.

James and his friends walked in five seconds before the bell rang. They couldn't be on time; they had to do everything so they stood out. Why did they have to be such jerks?

* * *

James, Sirius, Remus and Peter always had seats empty, no one dared to take one of the Marauders places. In first year they had always chosen the back of the room, but when James had acquired his crush on Lily they had somehow moved up so he could bother her.

They were doing conjuring charms today. They were going to conjure flowers and James didn't know if he should conjure a lily or another flower. Lilies seemed to be cliché, but if no one had ever gotten her one before it would be sweet wouldn't it?

He pulled out a quill and wrote on a piece of paper. They had used a protean charm to communicate with each other during classes. Of course, it had taken four years of detention before they though of doing it. James grinned at the memory and wrote-

James- _Think I can get McGonagall to partner me up with Evans?_

Sirius- _After what happened last time? Are you crazy, there's a better chance she would partner me up with a girl._

James laughed. Everyone, including the teachers, knew Sirius's reputation with girls. McGonagall didn't partner girls with him because no matter who the girl, Sirius would spend more time flirting than doing work.

James- _I finally have a plan._

Sirius- _A plan for what?_

_­_Remus- _I would like to know that too!_

Peter- _If you guys aren't paying attention, how am I going to pass?_

Sirius- _Copy the notes on the board, Moony will help you later! I want to hear James's plan._

James: _To get Lily to like me. I'm going to be more responsible, so we can't pull any bad pranks for a while._

Sirius: _You're kidding, James. For a girl? A girl, who I might add, isn't very fun. She likes to study for Merlin's sake._

Remus: _Sirius, stop being the insensitive flirt you always are.There is nothing wrong with Lily andJames likes her. James, that's a good start but if she doesn't like you, I don't know how much it'll help. Even if you do become friends._

James: _I know. She'll like me though. She will. Just wait._

James could hear Sirius sigh loudly.

Sirius: _Good luck. At least I win the title of Hogwart's bad boy without any competition now._

Professor McGonagall paused in her lecture. "Is something wrong Mr. Black?"

"No, professor," said Sirius with an innocent smile on his face. Well, as innocent as it could get. He was too mischievous to eve really look innocent.

"I'm going to put you in groups. Mr. Black you will be working with Miss Evans," she said.

* * *

This really was not fair. She had to work with Black because he couldn't pay attention. She was going to have to do double the work.

He sauntered over winking at the smiles of some hopeful girls and pinched Tia's arm. Tia turned to roll her eyes at him. She was tempted to bury her head in the desk and hope time would somehow magically rewind.

"I get partnered with the smartest girl in this school. Can I be any luckier?" he asked sitting on her desk. She gave him a disgusted look and moved to try to conjure a bouquet of flowers.

"Like you need any help. You're just lazy," she said bitterly. He, like James, also seemed to get good grades without any effort.

"Don't be jealous, Lily. I mean we both know that's the real reason you don't like James. It's not because he pulls pranks, or is a tad bit arrogant. It's because you're jealous that he does as well as you do and you have to work at it."

"Shut up, Sirius." She went to work to conjure the flowers. Transfiguration was not her best subject. James had already conjured a bouquet of lilies. She rolled her eyes a the irony of it all. She gave it a few tries, and on the third one she managed a bouquet of lilacs. She smiled. Three tries wasn't bad, not bad at all.

"Your turn, Sirius."

Lucky for her it turned out that it took Sirius a few tries to conjure up a bouquet too. She didn't think she could have stood it if he had gotten it on his first try as James had. He had conjured red roses. It suited him, the player with the standard dating flowers.

Lily could see that Tia had managed a single daisy, but was still having problems with a whole bouquet.

"So, why won't you go out with James?" Sirius asked lazily.

"It's none of your business," she snapped. He was almost as annoying as James was.

"Sure, it is. Although, I really didn't have to ask did I? It's the jealousy."

"I'm not jealous of him. I'm not jealous of the girls he dates. In fact, I feel a sort of pity for all the girls that come into the path of you two idiots," she said picking up her wand and moving to an empty chair next to Tia to help her.

Sirius smiled at her. He had sure gotten her riled up. It had to be because she liked James. She had been secretly watching him to see how he was doing on the assignment. James was walking over there now, to give her his bouquet.

She was pretty, he thought, in a cute sort of way. Her eyes were her best feature, and the hair was definitely interesting. She would look cute with James; he just hoped she didn't break his heart.

Sirius would do anything for James. He was his brother and if it meant having to help persuade Lily that she liked him he would do it. He wished James could have picked a fun girl though, someone who liked to have parties as much as they did.

He frowned as Lily thrust back the bouquet. James really did have confidence to still have hope after all her rejections. James took one of the lilies out and put it in her hair. Tia apparently thought it looked cute, and made Lily leave it in. James smiled as he walked away. She really better not hurt him, if she did, she would pay.

* * *

Lily got together her notebooks, a few quills and stuffed them into her bag. She started to tick off all the things she needed for a ball. Decorations, music, refreshments, how many prefects needed to help set up…

She wasn't that knowledgeable on music in the wizarding world but she was sure James had an idea. She hoped he didn't pick a band that would be a joke. She'd be able to curtail the rest of his moron ideas tonight, but the band she would have to check with Tia later on.

They were going to work in their common room, so she had to walk across campus from her Herbology class. Professor Sprout had asked her to stay a little longer to throw a few mandrakes into pots, so she was running late.

When she got to the common room she was out of breath from half running up the stairs. James, was unexpectedly prompt and ready, sitting on one of the fluffy couches. He patted the seat next to him, but she sat on the floor opposite him to work on the coffee table. She saw a frown that he quickly masked into a grin as he joined on the floor. She still had the lily tucked behind her ear from this afternoon. She didn't want to give him any more ideas.

"I thought of a few things for the ball," he said.

"Yeah, I did too. I have ideas for everything except the music. Do you happen to have any ideas?"

"The Flying Frogs," he said automatically.

She raised her eyebrows. The fact that he had come up with that name so quickly had her wary.

"They the hottest band out now. Everyone's into them, haven't you seen any of the green t-shirts with winged frogs?" he questioned her amusedly.

Was she that out of the rest of the world that she didn't even notice when a huge new fad popped up? She didn't recall any frogs with wings. She just nodded. She would consult Tia later to make sure he wasn't pulling wool over her eyes.

"I was thinking of talking to Hagrid about live bats too," James said.

"Yeah, I actually was thinking that too. It would be beyond cool to have them flying around the ceiling for the whole night. But bats, have well… I don't think anyone would appreciate bat dung in their food or on their clothes, so I was thinking about charming some rubber ones."

James smiled at her. "They sell them at Zonko's. Rubber bats. Don't you think that says something Lily? We had the same idea," he said getting up to sit next to her on her side of the table. She automatically inched away.

"It'll probably be easier if we can read your notes together," James said his arm passing over hers to pick up some of her ideas.

She knew it was just so he could sit next to her but what was she going to say? He was right it _was _easier to go through the ideas if they were sitting closer.

James had always unnerved her from the first time they had met in first year. He was loud and secure of himself and if he sensed insecurity would pounce. She had made sure she was never insecure around him, which often resulted in a temper or cool politeness when forced to work with him.

He was unnerving her now by sitting so close but she wanted to finish this. She wanted her first activity as Head Girl to be a huge success.

"You know those huge pumpkins Hagrid grows? I was thinking we could hollow one out and then everyone could take pictures inside of it. People could do it with their friends, their dates, by themselves, it doesn't matter."

"That's a great idea. As the organizers we'll have to get first dibs on taking a picture together."

She laughed. "As the organizers we should let everyone take pictures first, James," she said condescendingly.

"We can compromise. We can take a picture before everyone shows up."

"Then all the prefects will want to and we won't get anything done," she rolled her eyes at him.

"Then we'll send them out. We can be alone," he said quietly, turning to stare into her eyes.

"Stop that, you're acting weird." Lily was uncomfortable with his stare; it was as if he really liked her. She turned away.

He moved his hand over hers and caressed it slowly.

She turned back. "James, this is a bad idea."

"No, it's not." The way he was looking at her… he really cared about her. She had never seen him look at anyone like that before. When he leaned it to kiss her she knew she was lost.

* * *

He was in love with her; there was no denying it now. It wasn't young love, it wasn't a crush, it was something strong that would be with him forever. This was the moment; he might never have the chance to kiss her again. He had to do it now when she was staring at him, before she broke the spell that was caught around them.

He put a hand to her cheek, cupped her chin and moved in. The first taste of her was sweet and unique something he knew he'd never forget it. He kissed her softly caressing her bottom lip with his tongue before moving her closer. She responded moving her mouth against his and suddenly he couldn't take it slow anymore; he kissed her harder eliminating all space between them so he could feel her against him. He moved his other arm around her pulling her into his lap planning on making this last as long as possible. He put three years worth of desire into the kiss willing for it to change her feelings of him, for this to mean as much to her as it did to him.

He let go of, taking his mouth off hers. Her hair was coming out of place; she was breathing hard and sitting in his lap. Her face was flushed and her green eyes were wide with amazement. He wasn't sure if it was amazement at the kiss or that that she had let him but he sure hoped it was the former and not the latter.

She laid her head on his shoulder. He plucked the lily out from behind her ear and leaned over to kiss her neck.

She looked up at him, her eyes confused. "James, I think we're going too fast. I don't even know if I want to start anything, or…"

He wrapped his arms back around her for comfort. "It's alright. We can take it at any pace you want it. Promise me you'll come with me on a date next week though."

She laughed. "Next week? There's no Hogsmeade visit next week."

"I know other ways," he said mysteriously.

She looked curious. He could tell she was debating over wanting to keep up her good girl persona and the thrill of actually doing something to break the rules.

"Okay. Next week, I'll go on a date with you. Just once, though, so we can sort through this," she said wrapping up all their plans and going to bed.

Phase one had gone perfectly. He wasn't going to make their date extravagant, just something simple and comfortable. Easing her into this relationship would be the best thing. They were going to have a relationship, he could feel that now. After that kiss, he knew, she was meant for him as much as he was meant for her.


End file.
